I tried to use humour
And self annihilation
Studying every path
That would set me free
Stroking the world
By it's ragged edges
Hoping to find
The missing pieces of me
The parts I'd forgotten,
And others I had lost
Separated, by my own damnation
Still learning to pay
The ultimate cost.
Sooner or later,
I would find myself
Between the promise of heaven
And the familiarity of hell.
Exhausted in this battlefield,
Praying for thunder,
Just waiting for the midnight waves
To gently take me under.
There is no respite in this war.
No shelter. No home.
Exposed to every element,
I continue to walk alone.
But what if there was a place
Beneath the shaking ground?
A lonely place that lay silent
Emitting not even a single sound.
A closed door
A buried hatch
Inviting my presence
Through just an open latch
An elemental voice whispers,
She calls me in.
Hesitantly I travel,
Feeling an invitation to unravel.
I breathe in deeply to my lungs,
As I gently turn the key.
Surrendering to what I may find
Through the doorway of me.
It's been a long time
Since I've walked through this door,
But I trust with every exhale,
I'll be held a little more.
Hugged by a force, maternal and wise
I bask in the beauty of being alive.
To experience sensations
From deep within my bones
These aches and subtle twinkles,
Sent warmly from my soul.
To know oneself is to visit
This sacred, silent place.
Stepping blindly in the dark,
I am held by empty space.
Encapsulated by a force,
Absolvent of all time.
I reclaim the love
That is rightfully mine.
An exploration guided
By the depths of my heart
I mend those little pieces
That may have fallen apart.
Each inhale, I expand
To the potential of my being.
Each exhale, captivated
By a love so freeing.
Bravely taking this journey,
I begin to remember
This pool of light emitting
From my own heart centre.
These nuggets of wisdom.
Delicate chunks of gold.
I am reminded of the secrets
That wish to be told.
Some painful and dusty,
Others radiant and clear.
A whisper from my heart declares
"All is welcome here".
So I sit back in the knowledge
That my heart holds the key.
Held bravely by the strength
of my own vulnerability.
Taking respite in this darkness,
Bathing in the great unknown,
I greet myself with open arms,
As I take this journey.
Home.